There comes a time when we must all be evil, even to our fellow man. What better way to be so is to take advantage of the wonderful one liners that come across us every day. This is an archive of ideas that came from Brett's mind and escaped through his mouth. They are evil one liners and stories that deserve to be printed.
On the Sunday after the Ft.Worth Gay Pride Picnic, the Gay Pride Parade had finished it's run and many people made it into the surrounding bars responsible for it's support. One such bar is the Corrall and behind it is a patio area known as the "Back 40". It was assumed, by the look of clouds above, that it would soon rain again as it did the day before.
One man, whom Brett usually talked to from time to time, looked up into the Ft. Worth sky and stated "The way these clouds are moving, hopefully it'll blow on over"
Thus Brett replied "If we could get her up there, We can just grab Rhonda May's ankles and pump her legs and that will blow them out".
Brett arrived at 6 pm and walked into an apartment with an extremely odd smell. Told to check the eggs, Brett found nothing but an empty pot on the burner.......and egg on the ceiling. You see, when eggs get too hot, they tend to explode.
A friend of Brett's got a little tipsy one day and decided to cook Pig's Feet on the stove. He then forgot about them and went to a nearby bar, had a few drinks and a good time.
as he was on his way home the fire department past him and turned into his apartment complex. He then noticed that they were pulling up to his building with smoke bailing out of his windows.
at first, he tried to explain that he was cooking chicken. However, a black Fireman identified the corpse of the now charcoaled pig's feet.
As time went by, Yogi would not be allowed to forget the incident. One night at the 651 Stell Welfelt sang to him "chitlins con carne". Odd they she knows the song, but those Pentacostal preachers never fail to surprise me.
WHAT? STELLA WELFELT IS A PREACHER????
That's right kiddies, you can call her Brother Welfelt...or is it Sister Darden. Wait, how about Brother stella and Sister Jack.
"STELLLLAAAAAA".....Marlon Brando, where are you?
speaking of Marlon Brando....exacltly how many does it take to "Tango in Paris"? Don't know, but it only takes one Stella to tango in the DJ Booth.
Did you think Break dancing was dead? The wig was on lopsided, but not a single drop of alcohol was lost.
One night, Stella got a little toxy and was cut off from the bartender, Craig Russel. Well, she turned to him and asked "What am I supposed to do, wring out my liver into a glass"?
Craig replied "I would like to see that, it might be very biologically entertaining".
Needless to say, I'm sure Stella was wrecked.